Most of you may know about the struggles my grandmother has been having with pancreatic cancer. It was the reason I moved home so suddenly, so that I could be with her as much as possible. I thank God everyday for making that impulsive, yet wise decision.
These last few months have been very trying, watching her health decline knowing the outcome of her fate. But it has been these moments that have helped me become closer to God. It is through her that I have seen His almighty power and unwavering love. Today, was truly the most awesome moment I have shared with my family and God in my entire life.
I knew these past 2 weeks were her last precious moments here on earth. It's been very challenging because her condition would vary so drastically from one day to the next. Sometimes within the same day. I've been talking to her, thanking her for everything she has done for me, telling her how much I love her and sharing special memories I've had with her. Yesterday my mom called and said I needed to get to the house because they were expecting it to be her last 24 hours. My daughters and I spent most of the day with her and the family preparing for the worst. So many moments appeared to be touch and go, thinking each gasp was her last breath. It was utterly devastating, but I prayed and asked God for peace and strength. From that minute, I stopped crying and felt that peace come over me and my heart filled with so much strength.
Today, after church, I went back to my maw maw's house. She seemed so much better! At one point she just barely opened her eyes while I was holding her hand and I was so excited. She was able to see me and hear me say I love you once again. Knowing she is nearing the end, my family had the priest come over and say her final rites. I've never experienced anything like this before in my life. First of all, this priest is so incredibly awesome!!!! He truly has an anointing on his life and it is so evident. All of my grandmother's six children stood around the bed while we prayed with her, led by Father Beau. They graciously allowed me to share this moment and let me tell you what a blessing it was. I felt the presence of God so strongly today as we all stood there on one accord asking our Father to bless her and prepare her for the journey to finally meet Him. I was so fortunate to be at the foot of her bed, able to stroke her hair and hold her. What an AWESOME feeling!!! After Father Beau left, we all told her goodbye, one by one, and then sat around for the next hour laughing about the wonderful memories we have with her. When I left, I had so much peace it is really unexplainable.
As of this moment, 8:40pm, her heartbeat is still strong and apparently her will even stronger. Although, her final resting moment is near, I think we are all okay with it. Of course, we want our loved ones to live forever, but I'm comfortable knowing that I will have such a perfect angel in heaven watching over me and my baby girls. We are so blessed to have had her so many years and to have learned so many valuable things from her. But the greatest blessing of all, was being with her during her preparation to finally meet Him. It is a moment I will cherish everyday knowing that God chose me as one of the people to help guide her to Him. And thank you to my family for allowing me to also share such awesome moment with them.
I love you Maw Maw and whenever you are ready to go, I will understand. I may cry and be sad but only because you mean so much to me and I will miss you so terribly. But please know that I will be okay, having you to watch over me and love me when I need you the most. You have always been my rock, the one person who always believed in me, who sometimes I think knows me better than anyone else. You've loved me unconditionally, wholeheartedly and you never gave up on me. You've always seen the best in me, loving me when I wasn't easy to love, praying for me every day only wishing the best for me and never, ever turning your back to me. When times get rough, I know I will feel your hugs, your gentleness and your love. There are no words to express my gratitude for everything you've done for me and no way to measure my love for you. Thank you for giving me the best mom anybody could ask for, the most wonderful aunts and uncles, and most importantly, thanks for being my maw maw. I love you and will miss you so much.
These last few months have been very trying, watching her health decline knowing the outcome of her fate. But it has been these moments that have helped me become closer to God. It is through her that I have seen His almighty power and unwavering love. Today, was truly the most awesome moment I have shared with my family and God in my entire life.
I knew these past 2 weeks were her last precious moments here on earth. It's been very challenging because her condition would vary so drastically from one day to the next. Sometimes within the same day. I've been talking to her, thanking her for everything she has done for me, telling her how much I love her and sharing special memories I've had with her. Yesterday my mom called and said I needed to get to the house because they were expecting it to be her last 24 hours. My daughters and I spent most of the day with her and the family preparing for the worst. So many moments appeared to be touch and go, thinking each gasp was her last breath. It was utterly devastating, but I prayed and asked God for peace and strength. From that minute, I stopped crying and felt that peace come over me and my heart filled with so much strength.
Today, after church, I went back to my maw maw's house. She seemed so much better! At one point she just barely opened her eyes while I was holding her hand and I was so excited. She was able to see me and hear me say I love you once again. Knowing she is nearing the end, my family had the priest come over and say her final rites. I've never experienced anything like this before in my life. First of all, this priest is so incredibly awesome!!!! He truly has an anointing on his life and it is so evident. All of my grandmother's six children stood around the bed while we prayed with her, led by Father Beau. They graciously allowed me to share this moment and let me tell you what a blessing it was. I felt the presence of God so strongly today as we all stood there on one accord asking our Father to bless her and prepare her for the journey to finally meet Him. I was so fortunate to be at the foot of her bed, able to stroke her hair and hold her. What an AWESOME feeling!!! After Father Beau left, we all told her goodbye, one by one, and then sat around for the next hour laughing about the wonderful memories we have with her. When I left, I had so much peace it is really unexplainable.
As of this moment, 8:40pm, her heartbeat is still strong and apparently her will even stronger. Although, her final resting moment is near, I think we are all okay with it. Of course, we want our loved ones to live forever, but I'm comfortable knowing that I will have such a perfect angel in heaven watching over me and my baby girls. We are so blessed to have had her so many years and to have learned so many valuable things from her. But the greatest blessing of all, was being with her during her preparation to finally meet Him. It is a moment I will cherish everyday knowing that God chose me as one of the people to help guide her to Him. And thank you to my family for allowing me to also share such awesome moment with them.
I love you Maw Maw and whenever you are ready to go, I will understand. I may cry and be sad but only because you mean so much to me and I will miss you so terribly. But please know that I will be okay, having you to watch over me and love me when I need you the most. You have always been my rock, the one person who always believed in me, who sometimes I think knows me better than anyone else. You've loved me unconditionally, wholeheartedly and you never gave up on me. You've always seen the best in me, loving me when I wasn't easy to love, praying for me every day only wishing the best for me and never, ever turning your back to me. When times get rough, I know I will feel your hugs, your gentleness and your love. There are no words to express my gratitude for everything you've done for me and no way to measure my love for you. Thank you for giving me the best mom anybody could ask for, the most wonderful aunts and uncles, and most importantly, thanks for being my maw maw. I love you and will miss you so much.
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